On the Radio, but Fell off the Dial

Running of the Bulls ... in Magna?

2010-05-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

Who lets a bull loose in a city? Only a crazy person would .... or a Spaniard. But yesterday I found myself running from a bull in my home town!

I wanted to make a video about this, but I am not feeling very well today. The story is way too good not to tell, though - hence, the blog. You can't make this stuff.

My parents live next door to a rental house next door. It used to have a nice 90-year-old lady, but she died. My folks tried buying it as an investment - but some slumlord in South Jordan beat them to buying it.

Since then the stream of tenants since have been less than classy. ABC4 showed up to an Animal Control circus six years ago when a resident was trying to raise a dozen pit bulls. A meth house moved in after that - and got an eviction-by-handcuff visit from Salt Lake County Sheriff in 2006.

Now we have a neighbor who is raising a bull in the back yard. He did some computer work - the client didn't have any cash on 'em, so they paid him in livestock. I don't think you can have a bovine grazing in an R-2 zone, but whatever ... it isn't harming anyone, right?

I came to visit yesterday, to find a bull snacking on grass in my parents' yard. That's not cool.

I closed the gate and gave a call to the neighbors, ala "hey, your cow got out," etc. He shows up and tries to coax the bull back into his yard. Being a computer science guy, and no farmer, he only got the bull angry - and it starts charging all around the back property.

But not to worry! I closed the gate, right?

My entire family had wandered outside to watch - after all, it's not very often you see a moderately-dangerous animal wandering around in your yard.

And then ... the "bull hit the fan," figuratively speaking. Literally speaking, he hit the gate. And knocked it clean off its hinges.

Now, I pose a question: What's scarier than seeing an angry, non-castrated adolescent bull charging at you? I'd answer, seeing this bull charge at your entire family. (sans Kate, who was inside fighting with the wording of her graduation speech).

As the bull started charging all of us, I felt like an unwilling participant in the Spanish "Running of the Bulls" ... and made a decision on the spot to never compete in it.

Where do you go? We all started jumping on top of cars. I made it safely onto the roof of the Corolla - but it's scary watching the rest of my family struggle to climb up onto other cars' roofs.

I am impressed with how fast my mother got up onto a car roof.

If only I had my camera to record video of all running for our lives. But sadly, I didn't. And honestly, even if I had, I don't think it would've been high on my priority list at the time. A bull doesn't seem scary, until it's charging at you.

Now we had a bull loose in the neighborhood. I had no idea of what to do, so I called 9-1-1. Dispatch had to ask me to repeat myself, "you have a ... 'what' loose?"

Cars kept having to stop. The bull wandered off into somebody's yard. At one point it started beating its horns against a mailbox. Poor mailbox never stood a chance.

Thankfully, by the time Unified Police arrived the neighbors had managed to round it up. Animal Control checked it out to make sure its secure. I guess there's no ordinance against having a bull in your yard? They let the neighbor keep it ... which I think is "bull."

Magna may have been a country town back in the 50's, but in my lifetime it's not been a place for livestock The bull needs to go. I'm grateful there weren't any little kids walking down the street. A bull could do some damage to an adult - but it could kill a child.

I just worry about next time.

Oh, Happy Day!

2010-05-08T22:25:00.001-07:00

I've been hoping for this day for TWO YEARS ...

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Why no updates?

2010-05-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

Because NOBODY reads this blog!

And I've been in Los Angeles. But mostly because nobody reads this blog. I discovered this when I got Google Analytics. I think I'm seriously the only one who checks it ... and even I'm not a very regular reader. So, I think I'm going to go back to Facebook as my main clearinghouse for my self-created, user-generated crud.

Now, That's Trashy!

2010-04-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

A block from my apartment. It's not uncommon to see duplex-dwellers (who don't own working cars) pushing shopping carts home and keeping them on a permanent basis.

But this one's from Dollar Tree. That's got to be at least a mile push. I'm impressed this cart was able to wander so far from home.

At minimum, it really adds to my neighborhood's decor.

McDonald's Fails at Secret Menu

2010-04-06T22:43:00.001-07:00

The video says it all:

Okay, We're Not "That" Dumb

2010-03-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

"Buy. Use. Repeat."

A certain unnamed, yet prominent grocery chain has plastered this message all over it's impulse buys right next to the checkout counter. I understand that soulless corporations use plenty of research to trick us into buying junk we don't actually need. But I've never seen such overt manipulation.

And no, I didn't buy, use, or repeat.

From Apathetic Amusement to Mild Frustration

2010-03-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

Remember that company called General Motors?

You know, the ones that went out of business last year so the Federal and Canadian governments, plus a handful of unions and other bondholders had to take them over? Yeah, that General Motors.

It used to be they had crackpot ideas, which they spend millions on in development. I'd smile, and say, "oh well, however the choose to spend their money." And most of their ideas like the Hummer H3, a car called the EV-1, and Chevy Lumina Van vanished as quickly as they appeared. (Okay, the Lumina was successful, but it was still really ugly).

Today, I'm angry, when I saw this photo in an article:

What kind of crackpot executive believes a two-wheeled, all-electric vehicle is going to save GM?

I've seen Chrysler's Smart ForTwo on the freeway when I visited L.A. Those things are so small, they look scary. I could accidentally run one of those over changing lanes -- and I drive a mid-sized compact car! But hey, at least Chrysler was smart enough to give 'em four wheels and an engine that doesn't require a charge every 30 minutes.

But this? It's not a car. It's an anti-social Segway. Now, to give GM some credit - they say they plan to market these in Asia. Perhaps it could catch on there. After all, Japanese businessmen don't mind sleeping inside a tube. Either way, as a taxpayer-turned-stockholder in General Motors, these schemes just aren't funny anymore.

The Very Bad Health Care Bill

2010-03-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

I'm generally level-handed, politically. I do learn conservative thanks to my upbringing in the Intermountain West. I (regretfully) voted for Barack Obama in 2008, who has continued to be a disappointment as he fails to live up to the fiscal responsibility he preached in the campaign.

But my annoyance at our Commander-in-Chief (who has fallen to W.-level in my mental Gallup Poll) is nothing compared to my utter disgust with what's going on in Congress.

Can you say: "Time to dust off the old 2 Minute Talkshow?" It's really more like a three-minute talk show, but I had a lot to say:

Enjoy the new camera, open, and green screen! I hope to make many, many more movies with this equipment.

Why Internet "Radio" Isn't Catching On

2010-03-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, time for an actual on-topic post. I'm talking radio.

Specifically, internet radio streaming. Everybody points to internet streaming (and HD Radio, but that's another rant for another day) as the savior of terrestrial AM and FM broadcasting. You can see this most easily at the annual RTDNA/NAB convention. I've always wanted to go, mostly so I could wander over to the NAB side and see what the big buzz is in radio programming.

That was, until I pulled up NAB's vendor map. It's all technical. Tips on how to improve reception, boxes that connect cell phone texting, and terribly designed automation systems as far as the eye can see. Why would I bother spending $300 bucks on that? Where's the programming? Where are the ideas to get 18-24s excited about listening to the radio again?

Nope. It's all about HD and internet streaming. Which aren't bad. But even those are horribly lackluster. I ask the following questions:

1. How do 18-24s (or even 18-45s) get excited about streaming and get them to actually listen online?

2. How do we make money off internet streaming?

3. How come internet streams sound so terrible?

I'm going to skip to #3 first.

Internet streams in the US are awful. I try to listen to KNX 1070 NEWSRADIO regularly online. Their player is huge, takes up half my screen. That's not a problem since I can minimize it. But it keeps cutting out ever 15 seconds to buffer. It's no fun ..... to have to ... keep waiting ever......y 15 seconds ...... for the inter-.... net stream to finish ..... what it has to ..... say.

Icky, icky, icky. And that's nothing compared to the ad inserts.

Try sitting through this simple check of traffic and weather:

Do you really think your TSLs (time listeners spend listening) are going to be very good if they have to put up with this kind of abuse?

This takes me to #2. Streaming makes us lose money. An ad insert is exactly what it sounds. The web department at CBS (or whichever company you are listening to) cuts out the local commercials are replaces them on the stream. It's all thanks to some AFTRA (the Radio/TV talent union) bullying back in 2001, where they demanded extra money if their ads aired online. This is very bad. Instead of getting more ears for the high-paying ads which the sales team spend weeks massaging out of clients in town, they have to play PSA, and other low paying ads.

This means streamers are actually hurting local stations: How often do you hear a Clear Channel station encourage you to stop listening over the air and instead download their iHeartRadio app? Do they GMs realize what they just did? They cannibalized their audience which listens to the good paying spots (broadcast ads) and sent them over to the bad spots (wed ads, PSAs, etc.).

The ads are unlistenable. Buffering problems? Oh yeah. It's bad enough to have the stream hawking the same bankruptcy attorney at me every 5 minutes, over-and-over, again and again. But to hear ... it ... tell .... me that bankruptcy ... is an op.... -tion that could ... work .... for ... me. Just now I heard a PSA for helping in Haiti playing at the same time as a KeyesCars.com ad. Any wonder why I don't like streaming?

And finally, #1. If I'm going to not listen to your radio station on the radio, I'm probably not going to listen at all. I hate to break it to CBS, Clear Channel, Emmis, and the like: Pandora kicks their internet stream's butt. For starters, it doesn't have to keep buffering. It's light and easy to use. I only hear one ad ever 15 minutes. When I start it, I hear music immediately - not some goofy spot for Jamaica for 60 seconds and then music. And I get to pick a more specific format than any radio station could ever provide me.

Radio is worth saving, but the current owners just don't care. Even CBS, which is sadly one of the few that still hires actual people sometimes, is sounding quite pitiful. As excellent as KNX 1070's programming is, and I'm highlighting the "X" and clicking. It just can't take the buffering, terrible ad inserts, two ads playing at once, etc.

If anybody goes to NAB this year, let me know if they talk programming. I'd really love to go, but I just can't justify spending what little money I have to have NexGen hawk equipment at me. HD won't save radio. Streaming won't save radio. Good programming will save radio.

But if they plan to talk about what programming it will take to save local radio, then I'll pay almost anything to go.

Fixed the Phone

2010-03-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

I finally decided to give up fighting Cricket Wireless over the $3/mo. picture messaging charge. They've done a good job building a fortress around themselves. (And by "fortress" I mean "out of country call center.")

This means more stupid pictures I snap as I see them appearing here.

And believe me, now that I actually have to pay for the privilege, I plan to take a lot more. (It's sort of the same principle as eating at a buffet).

And now ..... Here's a random photo I took with my camera:

It's good to know my precious few dollars are being put to good use.

Telling 5,000 People "I Was Wrong"

2010-03-16T16:38:00.001-07:00

Reporters err. Media makers muff up much more than we care to admit.

From time to time we have to decide if we need to issue a "correction" to a story. Newspapers are the most visible sources. I don't know if it's because papers are passionate about ethical reporting, or if it's because people like to cut out mistakes and pin them on their cubicle wall (which I have done myself).

In radio we are much more likely to acknowledge a mistake immediately. But if I don't say, "I mean First Lady Michelle Obama, not Mitchell" (or "Sorry, I normally don't sneeze eight times in a row like that"), then it's very unlikely I'll ever mention the mistake openly on air again.

Today was one of those rare exceptions. Jim Lovell, the real-life Apollo 13 guy and the man Tom Hanks played on not-real-life "Apollo 13," is supposed to speak next Tuesday. My station plans to carry it, with moderate forward promotion.

It's too bad I made a boo-boo and said he spoke today. Oops!

So, for your listening pleasure, me having to look five-thousand people straight in the ear and literally say, "I was wrong."

Goodbye Smith's

2010-03-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

Buildings aren't worth getting sentimental about. But it is sad to watch the old Smith's store at Arbor Park Center disappear this past week. This was the grocery store I went to as a 5, 10, and 15 year-old growing up.

The owner of the center opened a new center down the street in 1999, cannibalizing Arbor Park. Within 5 years everybody, including Smith's had moved away, into the new digs. That's left this old store sitting empty for another 6 years since.

Frankly, I was surprised the building was still here when I got back from Oregon. I don't know if the developer is planning to replace the building, or if he just wanted to reduce his property taxes. But, either way, the Smith's is gone.

Legacy Milestone

2010-03-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

Wow! I guess The Mighty Subaru™ is officially an "old" car now. Over the weekend, I hit 200,000 miles. This means I'm now responsible for 25% of the car's wear-and-tear.

Other than a few quirks, the car is still driving great. It's been my buddy to California and back a number of times. Even survived the Pacific Coast Highway to Oregon last summer. Not too shabby! How many cars would you trust to take you along the edge of the country at 185,000+ miles? Didn't break a sweat. The car even handled San Francisco's hills quite well.

I was driving up to Zach and Laura's baby's baby blessing. I saw we were getting close to hitting the mileage, so I pulled off the road and took the frontage road. Hit 200,000 high atop Point of the Mountain. I worried it would hit it somewhere ugly - you know, like Orem's State Street.

Der schlechteste Film

2010-02-28T21:19:00.001-08:00

Demand for my terrible final project from German class started swamping me today.

It came out of the blue. I haven't even thought about this gem of Macromedia genius in months, possibly even years. Yet, requests started barraging me today. I couldn't get a moment of peace. In all meetings at church. At home. On the telephone. Even threatening messages scratched into the paint of my car with a key. It seemed everywhere I went, the masses had one unifying request: Release the film! (Of course, all of these requests came from Merrill).

So, here it is, without further ado, what is clearly the greatest animated cinematic achievement of this century (take that, Avatar):

(Since this movie is so "incredible," you must be logged-into Facebook, and be my Facebook friend to view).

Banter

2010-02-18T16:36:00.001-08:00

Ah, broadcast banter. The pseudo-idle, stiff, rigid chat between two anchors on television.

At the station I work at, the management is lifting the ban on banter, and is now encouraging the jocks to talk with us news guys. Immediately my workplace satisfaction has jumped 26%.

Today I had my first go at trying to ad-lib with Mark Wait. He didn't give me any heads up as to what the topic would be, but I felt I held my own fairly well. So, here you go, for anyone interested:

4:30 Discussing a high-tech, bi-(something-or-other) recording

5:30 Discussing Vancouver 2010 Olympics

There's Always a Song

2010-02-16T21:22:00.001-08:00

I was driving with my buddies about one month ago. We got talking about different stuff going on in our lives, and often found ourselves saying, "it's kind of like [insert song lyric here]. You know?"

The more I think about it, I must agree. The flood of pop songs that I've swam in during my short life have tempos and rhythms which capture childhood moments. But as I've gotten older, and conversely had more experiences, I'm beginning to find the lyrics now connect with me in ways I never realized.

I followed up with one friend, and he agrees. For example, he keeps finding himself on dates with girls who move quickly to the "making out" stage, and then fall apart. It frustrates him, but says he enjoys the ride.

I really can't relate, since I subscribe to a slow-and-steady-long-haul-investing philosophy. But any-who, he and I agreed there's one song that fits his situation exactly:

Another friend has pretty much had, in my opinion, the best life ever. He got awesome grades through high school. He destroyed the A.C.T. as a sophomore, which snagged him a scholarship. He met his now-wife in the first months back from serving as a missionary. He got accepted to law school, etc. There's a song for his situation (or at least how I perceive his situation), too:

There's one a song that fits my brother Rich perfectly:

Just kidding, Rich.

As for me? Well, it depends on my mood.

I can think of about sixty-five-million songs that fit different thoughts I'm feeling at any given time. I can't say 'em all, as some would seem silly. Some fit my gripe at a radio industry that's falling apart, like Tom Petty's "The Last D.J." Some seem appropriate when I'm feeling a bit down. Others fit a good day (the L.A. location shoot for the video helps). Some give me hope for wonderfully big dreams. Others offer a different kind of something to hope for.

Anyway, no matter how I sum it up, music is wonderful. The right song at the right time can sing to my soul. It's just a matter of the correct lyrics at the correct time.

Sunday School Vandalism

2010-02-07T16:04:00.000-08:00

I just couldn't resist ... (yes, this time I am the one responsible)...

The Flying Dutchman

2010-02-05T23:13:00.000-08:00

Merrill, future Mrs. Merrill, and I set off on an epic journey: To find out if the legendary Flying Dutchman really exists...

(Hey, it's only 70 seconds long, you can afford to click play!)

Comedy Gold, Hidden in Plain Sight

2010-02-04T17:53:00.000-08:00

Letting a bunch of us 20-something-year-olds onto the FM dial, live, in a major market is in itself comedy gold. But today I discovered another small gem of comedic vandalism right across the hall:

I don't know how many weeks, months, or even years that's been there. I figure an English major is probably guilty. (FYI: I am not the one who did this).

Bring Back the Old 'Jazz' Logo?

2010-02-03T08:58:00.001-08:00

Now, I'm by no means a "sports person," but this sports story caught my eye:

An article in this morning's Salt Lake Tribune proposes bringing back the old classic Utah Jazz logo on a full-time basis. The idea is that the team has pretty much imploded under the new logo, and that returning to the old one would help re-kindle some of our Utah glory.

I'm all for switching things up. I do remember back in the mid-90s I would actually watch parts of Jazz games on TV, because we had a chance to "beat the Bulls" and win the national championship. It's probably one of the few times I ever really cared about sports. Crud, I even managed to learn most of the players' names. Unlike today, when I can only remember "Boozer" because it would sound hilarious to say "Boozer gets DUI."

It also could be the purple-sherbet "Utah Jazz Ice Cream" gallon my parents picked up one time, which creates this strong happy mental association to the old logo.

Anyway, my vote: Go back to the old logo!

Ode to Center Street Ream's

2010-01-30T22:39:00.000-08:00

Ream's on Center Street is out of business.

Michael Bolton saw this terrible day when he sang:

"I could hardly believe it when I heard the news today. I had to come and get it straight from you."

(But his chorus: "Tell me how am I supposed to live without you?" does not apply).

Center Street Ream's: Your death is a shock but not a total surprise. I knew you would die one day. I just pictured it in my mind as something much more fantastic:

Like a car careening out of control, heading straight for frozen foods. Store managers, employees, and shoppers bravely flee the building as the car finishes off the deli and half the cash registers. Which is pretty much the entire store. Now, THAT's a send off!

(Of course, I'd have just settled for a health department inspection. That would've worked, too.)

Funeral-goers and gawkers currently pack the parking lot with more shoppers than the store has seen in the last sixty-five years.

(Given, at any Walmart parking lot there are probably more cars in motion right now)

The illegal, fire-hazard soda display that blocked your aisles is now nearly gone now.

I'll forever miss seeing Clorox and Sandies cookies stocked aside one other...

and the unrefrigerated bottles of beer next to the applesauce....

And the un-purchased tubs of lard from the late 1980's. [Not pictured. I mean, who'd take a photo of lard?]

Your shelves are now empty. Lipton broth bags to grace them no more. Perhaps you'd still be in business if your prices made the shelves empty themselves automatically.

Of course, I would've just settled for a mopped floor.

For Rude: ORCA Quiz

2010-01-26T15:33:00.000-08:00

My Geography 222 class is making all of us take ORCA's ethics quiz. One particular answer made me smile ...

Q. "Which ... circumstances would be adequate to justify ... the exclusion of potential human subjects from a study?"

A. "Translation of a consent form costs $50.00 per page. Non-English speakers excluded." [wrong answer]

Sorry, Juan Carlos. No survey for you!

A Freeway So Scary ...

2010-01-25T20:12:00.000-08:00

... it'll make you wet your pants?

I am trying to find an article on a proposed new freeway for southern Utah County. I found this supposed "blog" post about it. For some reason it just doesn't seem legit, imo.

Ever Have a Dog Beg You For Food?

2010-01-25T17:24:00.000-08:00

I've never had a duck beg me for food. Until today.

Just walked right up, both of 'em.

But like dogs, I had to tell the ducks no. I only feed scraps to cats.

Now, How Am I Supposed To Reach It All the Way Up There?

2010-01-23T19:44:00.003-08:00

Smooth move, Sam's Club. Next time I'm going to Costco.

Going Too Far?

2010-01-19T23:00:00.000-08:00

Before I explain anything, watch this:

Watched it? Great.

Have I gone too far? Crossed a line?

I've been surprised to watch reactions of those I show this to. A few look at me with condescending exasperation. They've had to sit through way too many of these films. I blame their reluctance to say no when I shout: "Hey (name), check out my latest video."

For them, this film simply sinks to an even lower low.

Others, like my roommate, laugh hysterically. "Dude, you've gotta put this on Facebook!" Given, he's also the one who dared me to make this film ("I'll totally give you a 5 on YouTube"). My Facebook post led to co-workers showing the video to the boss, who was polite, but was less than thrilled. Of course, he remembers a time when U.S. racial tension actually had ... well, tension.

My question for you: Have I crossed a line? I intend no racism. I'm not mocking Dr. King. It's simply a famous speech, which I take out of context.

Yet, the film causes you discomfort, doesn't it? I ask you now: Why?

Blog in a blog in a blog...

2010-01-18T08:52:00.001-08:00

More Sunday Comics

2010-01-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

So, I Was Bored At Church Today

2009-12-06T15:27:00.001-08:00

My faux-comic strip doodling, with its junior high school violence, prove that I am just as stupid as I was a dozen years ago.

Click to enlarge:

Professor George McFly

2009-12-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

I always thought my professor looked a bit like George McFly, from "Back to the Future."

Well, today he's dressing a bit like Marty.

Finally: Some Honesty!

2009-12-01T23:07:00.001-08:00

Guilty Until Proven Guilty

2009-10-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

I went out to eat at Arby's last night. They have these great coupons that let me have two mediocre, over-priced sandwiches for the price of one mediocre, over-priced combo meal. And my brother was in town.

We ordered our food right as a crowd of people hungrily clawed their way inside behind us. Between chatting politics and general tiredness, I failed to notice that it had been over 20 minutes and neither of us had food.

We walked over to find Rich's food there, but not mine. About eight other hungry people were milling about. I figured my French Dip and accompanying Philly Beef were still merrily sizzling away in the patented Arby's cow processing oven.

After another ten minutes, I decided to hang around by the counter. The food worker asked me what I was waiting for, to which I showed her my receipt.

"That?" she said. "Oh somebody already took that. Was it your friend."

No, Rich had the chicken.

"Well," she laughed, "it's gone now. Somebody took it." To which, she and the crew started work on fixing me a new sandwich.

When my friend arrived, I told him this story, and he started laughing. "There's a homeless guy standing out by the sign. He's eating food out there."

It was a cold night.

"I was wondering why someone would want to eat outside tonight."

Perhaps it was a mix-up. I have my doubts. The bum is guilty.

Well, I should have compassion, I mean, he's probably homeless and hungry. Very hungry. So hungry, in fact ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vxQqdFOeoM

It All Seems So Much More Real Now

2009-09-17T23:00:00.001-07:00

Lookie what I saw in person driving through Saratoga Springs ...

Who brought us this ad ...

Dumbest Blue Law Yet

2009-09-04T18:37:00.000-07:00

When I Was A Kid, Bananas Were Yellow

2009-09-02T19:39:00.001-07:00

I Love Double Meanings

2009-08-09T03:42:00.000-07:00

The title of this poster pretty much sums up my feelings on the health care debate:

Hob Nobbin' in the Whirly Bird

2009-08-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure who it was. Somebody went for a helicopter ride around the campus yesterday. And they must've been looking at something specific, because they kept hovering over one building then scooting to the next one.

Angry at Cash for Clunkers

2009-08-04T08:40:00.001-07:00

A Mall Kiosk Never Tasted So Good

2009-07-18T19:01:00.000-07:00

In passing at Valley Fair Mall today (which we affectionately call "Ghetto Fair Mall"), this kiosk caught my eye:

How wonderful it is to see the mall's owners investing back into the old building. But what's more ... can you guess what about the remodel caught my eye?

For those with vision as bad as mine:

Huzzah! I'm not sure how long it's gonna take to get here, but you can bet I'll be an occasional customer.

Fabric Stores Are Exciting

2009-06-24T22:35:00.001-07:00

See how thrilled I am?

If This Doesn't Change, I'll Probably Die Before I'm Thirty

2009-06-13T23:45:00.001-07:00

I suffer from financially-induced anorexia.

I may have empty cabinets at home. But I may still leave grocery stores empty-handed muttering something about "prices are too high," etc. It's not a lack of money, but rather my stubbornness to pay more than 10 cents an ounce for anything.

After starving myself, I finally found what I thought was a solution: Go to the store hungry.

It worked! I would find myself leaving with $20 or more worth of food. My stomach would thank me. Sometimes, like a starving raccoon, I'd even dive into a bag or Oreos on my way home.

But "Oreos" is among the key words for my new problem. When I go to the store hungry, I end up buying garbage. Cookies. Frozen pizza. Cheez-Its.

I need to learn to cook real food. But I'm always too hungry to figure it out. If it takes more than 2 steps, or if I can't pull it out of a microwave or oven in less than 15 minutes, I'm probably not going to eat it.

If I keep eating this way, I'll probably die sometime within the next couple of years. At least all the food preservatives will cut back on embalming expenses.

You Can Change Your Appearance ...

2009-06-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

... but that doesn't change your character.

A Few Items

2009-06-07T11:13:00.000-07:00

Great. I'll save money and stay there.

Um. No.

It's Almost Like Somebody Dying

2009-06-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

And I know what that's like.

I've had plenty of mentors of the years, when it's come to my radio background. I was fortunate to have a country station morning show host (still alive) around the corner from where I grew up. I've worked at several other stations, and had plenty of mentors there (most still alive, too).

Among them, the late Bob Morey of K-Star. Bob explained more to me about the music mafia and taught me the old addage "how can I sell it?" He helped me understand that radio has to work hard to break even, let alone make money. Sadly he passed away last fall.

A real shame, because he's one person I'd like to get an opinion on this:

Radio and Records (R&R) died today! A big enough story of those of us in radio broadcasting, that all-news KNX 1070 in Los Angeles ran it as breaking news. I felt chills when I heard the story.

R&R is the bible for radio. It's the New York Times of the airwaves. The ruler by which radio stations are measured.

It's deeply personal for me. I first got interested in radio when I discovered B98.7 was playing jingles that originally belonged to Z100 in New York City. That lead me to the jingle singing company, Reelworld. I downloaded all the demos, singing them constantly (my brother was "thrilled"). That lead me SaltLakeRadio.com (defunct). Eventually, they would cite national stories, quoted in Radio and Records.

When I discovered R&R, I would read it every day. I don't think a week of my life has passed by in which I haven't stopped in at least once. And even when I was in Oregon, I will admit I checked on R&R more often than I'd admit to my mission president.

Today B98.7 has gone girly, Clear Channel has destoyed Z100, the Salt Lake Radio site has changed hands a half dozen times and is now off-line. But through the demise of many of my radio coaches, I could always rely on Radio and Records.

When I would wow my friends with radio business jabber, that wasn't me talking. It was the latest updates from R&R.

You can see why I feel a little lost without it.

Cool

2009-05-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

I guess that word, written in gothlic letters, makes up for every way a Hyundai Accent is not.

Harry Potter and the Arby's Combo

2009-05-27T23:22:00.001-07:00

My odd sighting of the night.

I saw this man was reading Harry Potter aloud to his wife/girlfriend. Nothing wrong with that. But at Arby's???

I suppose a person could consider this "cute." I thought it was a bit odd.

Oh. the other weird part ... he was wearing headphones the entire time. Or gigantic black hearing aids. I'm not sure.

Poor Judgement

2009-05-15T14:47:00.001-07:00

I expect more from Utah County's finest. What a pity.

My Poor, Neglected Blog

2009-05-14T20:52:00.001-07:00

Wow. Infinity effect.

More posts coming.

R.I.P. "Al the Whippet" (1994-2009)

2009-04-20T08:37:00.001-07:00

You never made us walk you -
and that's all a family could ask.

Rest in Peace little guy!
1994-2009

Beijing's Miracle

2009-04-20T00:20:00.001-07:00

On Chinese New Year, Beijing suffered what some might call a "terrible disaster."

It all started with the fireworks. After all, what's China without some fireworks, right? From what I've read, the display was fantastic! But like all good fireworks shows, some of the sparks ended up landing on the roofs of Beijing's skyline - including, a new high-rise hotel next to the CCTV headquarters.

It's a new building, which the owners expected would hold thousands of guests each night. They almost had it finished. Weeks away, I hear.

Then ... a firework landed on the roof.

Doesn't sound so bad, right? Well, five minutes later the entire building was burning up like it was covered in gasoline.

Don't believe me? Watch it for yourself!

They've since learned the contractor used the wrong kind of zinc on the building's shiny exterior. Instead of a metal that burns once it heats up above 1000+ degrees, the kind they used catches fire at only 400 degrees.

Oh, and it spreads.

As I read this tonight (or rather, early this morning), my mind started turning. Certainly, this was a terrible fire. Beijing lost a multi-million dollar building. It would be like the new 222 South Main St. tower catching fire, which would be a tragic loss to our skyline.

But let's imagine a world where this building hadn't caught fire.

* * *

On Chinese New Year 2010, the hotel is packed with 5,000 guests, all watching the festivities from the hotel room windows.

A firework lands on the roof. It starts a small fire, which seems inconsequential. The hotel staff delays setting off the fire alarm, instead sending some staff with fire extinguishers to put it out.

By the time they get up there, the fire spreads across the entire roof. The workers try to flee, but can't escape, and they die on the roof.

Somebody on the upper floors sees the fire and pulls the fire alarm. Guests begin ambling into stairwells.

Two minutes later, the fire punches into the glass atrium and begins burning the interior zinc-covered walls. The fire spreads it's way down to the 20th floor. Most of the guests die in their rooms, or trapped in stairwells.

Five minutes later the fire reaches the ground, consuming the entire building. Nearly all of the guests on the floors 7 or higher have died. Over four-thousand people are dead, many visiting from the United States, Europe, and the rest of the world.

* * *

Okay, as morbid as that picture is, that would've been the headline: "Thousands Die in Beijing Hotel Fire."

Thankfully, either through divine grace or human luck, the tower torched a year sooner. As sad as it is to see it's corpse today, we can be thankful almost nobody was hurt in this fire.

If people say miracles don't happen, they are idiots.

We're #79! We're #79!

2009-04-19T22:39:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's a chant nobody's gonna be too proud of.

I spent my Sunday night chatting with my buddy who's in college across the country. We both went to Cyprus High School far west of Salt Lake City.

We always joked of how 'bad' the school was. It its 100+ year history it burned down, burned down again, and then began sinking. We also would poke fun at how the school almost lost its accreditation while I was there.

Well, I had no idea how close I was! Tonight, I found KSL has posted a new site looking at high schools in Utah. My beloved high school ranks 79th in the entire state. (We only have 83 schools).

In the district, we were third from the bottom, beating out Granger High and the school for special needs students.

Oh snap! Oh well, at least we have a few cool facts. We were the only school to have a "galley" instead of a cafeteria (albeit they look the same) and a block-letter "C" on the mountain.

Of course, KSL has it entirely wrong. According to a "principal's letter," they say:

Cyprus High is the only school in the Salt Lake Valley that has an electronic, block-letter "C" on the side of the mountain west of the school.

What the? The block letter is most certainly not electronic! It's made of gravel!

Look, I'm an idiot who graduated from your "3rd-worst-school-in-the-district" and even I'm not gonna fall for that!

Oh hey ... A.D.D. minute: I just discovered one of KFC's co-founders attended there!

Birthday Surprise

2009-04-16T22:30:00.000-07:00

I certainly wasn't expecting to get this for my birthday this past Wednesday:

CNN's "Finest" Hour

2009-04-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

It's pretty sad when the reporter begins looking nuttier than the nuts she's trying to cover.

The Documentary

2009-04-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

Alright! Here it is! After several months work, Mark and I finished off the documentary, and we are turning it in today. Not too shabby of a requirement for a senior project, in my opinion.

The only trouble we are having is with the computer's export function. We shot it in widescreen HD (16:9) but it keeps smashing it into standard TV (4:3). Anyway, enjoy!

Watch "The Documentary" on Vimeo.

What Love Is (repeat)

2009-04-13T23:25:00.000-07:00

Recently, a family I'm acquainted with had their marriage fall apart after a quarter century. Well, mainly the guy walked away. I haven't been in touch a whole lot lately, but it still hurt me when I heard of it. I feel especially bad for the wife and kids.

I felt this clip from The Simpsons deserved a re-air. Even Homer Simpson recognizes what so many men don't . . .

Purchase: Season 17, Episode 20

"Roady the Cat" won't cooperate

2009-04-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

It's not hard commercial copy to read: "Norelco ... with a shave so smooth, even a cat will use it."

But will Roady the Cat cooperate?

Garage Ball

2009-04-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

When I was walking to my car tonight, I noticed a group of creative freshmen playing kick ball on the second level.

Never Pay a Toll Again

2009-04-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

Worthy of a master's thesis, this video takes the viewer on an existentialist trip into the perplexing social equity questions of transportation economics psychology.

Filmed in 2003, I re-edited the voice tracking of what appears to be a simple home movie, but actually was an in-depth analysis of the geographical fairness of Kansas highways. It in NO way is random ramblings and sound effects laid on top of an existing camcorder movie. Yeah ... um, no way. So, yeah ...

Total Recall

2009-04-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

Even the best news outlets have bad days.

I heard the Daily Universe pulled all of their papers today. They are in the process of destroying them. It's not often any news outlet, including the Universe, makes a blooper big enough to warrant destruction. Thankfully a student I know was able to grab a copy out of the news stand before crews came around to empty them out.

"Quorum of the Twelve Apostates." Oh snap! Epic spell checker fail.

I feel so badly for them. Having made plenty of mistakes of my own, I can empathize. But when I make a boo-boo it typically radiates into space and disappears forever. With print it evens up on people's walls. Or blogs.

For what it's worth, karma will probably mean my gaffe will end up on YouTube someday.

By the way, the Universe is apologizing profusely: "In printed copies of Monday's Daily Universe, due to a spelling error in a photo caption, the word "apostles" was replaced with a different word. The Daily Universe apologizes to the Quorum of the Twelve and our readers for the error."

Ban TVs, Too

2009-04-05T22:23:00.000-07:00

It's time to ban TVs in cars.

I had the pleasure of following this SUV down the Point of the Mountain tonight. As I got near Thanksgiving Point I quickly found myself distracted.

They have one of those TVs mounted so the kids can become more A.D.D. and never a speck of nature ever again. After all, parents love to spend hundreds of dollars in gas so kids can see all the natural beauty America has to offer. Specifically, Spongebob re-runs.

But sarcasm aside, I digress. Tonight I found myself drifting lanes because I was trying to figure out what show this family was watching. My best guess was Finding Nemo. Or Veggie Tales. Not sure, since I haven't ever seen it. Veggie Tales seem a bit fruity to me (pun intended).

Somebody's gonna get in a wreck because they were watching someone else's TV. While that's great in bumper-to-bumper traffic, it's really bad at 75 miles per hour. It's distracting, dangerous, and almost as bad as those incompetant drivers who try to take cell phone photos of TVs in cars at 75 miles per hour.

Big Bird's Moving In

2009-04-04T14:38:00.000-07:00

Thanks to some clowns at BYU's art department the famous yellow bird from Sesame Street no longer has a place to live. Nice going, you shoplifters.

Simpsons Equals Paper

2009-04-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

I had a term paper due about an hour ago. I has partially forgotten about it (neglected, is a better word) until late last night. Deciding I'd better get started, I quickly realized the professor was very open-ended on what he expected. It had to:

1. Analyze media.
2. Be longer than five pages.

Being lazy, I went back to watching last week's episode of The Simpsons. Then it hit me: make the episode into my paper!

Tada! Audio Link (or play below)

It's Finally an "Okay" Time to Buy

2009-03-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Alright, home buyers -

Click the map to see full detail.

Based on my non-scientific bubble graph, I believe it's finally an acceptable time to buy a home. This applies only to those of you who intend to live in your homes for at least five years.

If you are a flipper, don't bother buying. Home prices are going to stay pretty flat, with modest growth beginning next year. If home prices do increase, it will be to match inflation. But remember, home prices are tied to salaries, and even if we do see 12% inflation this year, it may not translate to a 12% increase in home prices because people's salaries won't likely climb until a few years from now.

Born in da Ghetto

2009-03-18T08:36:00.001-07:00

Okay, not really. But my brother made this video. It allows the more run-down segments of our old hometown make fun of itself.

But as I watched it, I realized it just didn't feel the clip conveyed enough of a "hood"-nature, so here you go, Rich:

It's My Car's Birthday

2009-03-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

It looks like The Mighty Subaru™ has hit the 180,000 mile mark tonight!

Severely Censored

2009-03-12T22:31:00.000-07:00

I am lazy. I drive to the other end of my apartment complex's parking lot to put my laundry in the dryer. Along the way I heard U92 playing a really smooth R&B song. I ran home (or rather, drove) and logged onto their web site to find out the title and artist.

As I started listening online, and realized it needed an edit. It wouldn't be the first time. I love to take (otherwise) great songs and remove the singular expletive to make it guilt-free.

But as I kept listening, I began to realize just how raunchy the original song was. I mean it wasn't just innuendo ... it was very, detailed and specific lewdness.

It seemed almost impossible to salvage. But hey, I'm always up for a challenge.

Ingredients:

- Original track
- Karaoke track rolled off imeem.com
- Simpsons Season 9, Episode 9

Directions:

- Mix ingredients in Adobe Audition 3.0, bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

Result: Listen Here

Innovative Ideas from 1943

2009-03-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we made it through the oil bubble. Now we are once again enjoying fuel for our cars at prices we haven't enjoyed since the late-90's.

But over the next two decades we will have to face growing global demand for oil. And Walt Disney has some great foresight in how we can continue to enjoy our suburban lifestyle, even if we can't afford to fuel our cars:

An 'Exotic' Animal Allowed in Provo?

2009-03-11T19:54:00.001-07:00

Huge news: Prossibly the most shocking story I've ever covered! Provo's Municipal Council allow certain (almost) exotic animals within its city limits? Listen!

FYI: Amazingly this ran on the radio this afternoon.

Reminder: You Are in Provo

2009-03-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

Cooking with Rob

2009-03-10T22:51:00.001-07:00

Tired of cooking? Want to fix an entire without using any utensils?

I'll show you how to make a (practically) "no mess meal!"

March in Utah: No Words Needed

2009-03-09T23:41:00.000-07:00

Stop Being a Jerk, Dude.

2009-03-09T23:19:00.000-07:00

What I've been repeating to myself all weekend.

I'd worked on a script for a ward (church) group's play for several weeks, only to have a small incident Thursday. It appeared one of the cast members wanted to change it. Substantially. As in all my work for the past two weeks: gone.

In irritation, I resigned.

Then I realized this afternoon that as the ward photographer, I'd probably need to go and film it.

Well, I feel like an idiot. Not only is the new script better than mine, but I laughed my head off. So, with a firm admission that I'm an idiot, here's one of the funniest amateur plays I've seen in a while:

For you technophiles, I don't own a camcoder.

I filmed the video with a simple Kodak Easyshare digital camera. Then I used a Sony mini-disc recorder with Audio-Technica's cheapest shotgun mic plugged in to snag the audio. I rolled the MD into Adobe Audition and used the "voice over compressor" function to boost the quiet parts, and I saved it to a WAV file.

I synced the video to the new audio using Windows Movie Maker and it turned out great! Sounds just as good as being there.

Radio's Getting Mugged ... Again

2009-03-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

After my poor industry spend the last ten years getting wasted, it's now stumbled out of the bar into the alley ... only to have the RIAA pull a figurative gun.

US House Resolution 848 would swap the way radio pays royalties. Right now they radio pays a annual single blanket fee. If H.R. 848 passes radio would go to a "pay for play" system which would charge stations few bucks each time a single song plays.

It's a system worse than they use for internet broadcasters. And that system is already so bad, it's all but destroyed net streaming in the United States.

H.R. 848 would drive most stations into the talk radio arena, while the RIAA shoots its best promotional tool to make a few extra dollars in the short run.

Best. Denny's. Ever.

2009-03-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

Well, once again I ruined a perfectly good Jim Henson masterpiece, and insulted Denny's to boot.

This is from another childhood flashback. It's from a Sesame Street movie, with a few mild edits I wasted the last hour or so on.

Like all children's movies, I'm impressed with the mild cerebral-level jokes targeting the adults. There's layers I didn't catch as a child, or simply don't remember.

This scene looks back at the "Bad Eats - the Don't Drop Inn." An obvious reference the countless 50's diners that were in decline by 1985 like the "U-Drop Inn" in Shamrock, Texas.

Hope you all like it. If not, I don't care. I couldn't stop laughing as I made it!

The Bear Stearns of News

2009-03-06T00:07:00.000-08:00

Here's a video from Rocky Mountain News worth watching:

Final Edition from Matthew Roberts on Vimeo.

Here's my take on it:

Viewpoint - Rocky Failure Affects Everybody

About a week ago one of Denver's major newspapers rolled it's last page off the press. A sad day, considering Utah's Deseret News was also in its infancy when Rocky Mountain News printed its first page. In fact, “the Rocky” was going to celebrate its 150th birthday in just a couple months.

Between the crashing advertising market and declining classified revenue, 2008 wasn't kind to the Rocky Mountain News. In January, its parent company, the E.W. Scripps Company decided to sell after 83 years.

The waited a month to find a buyer. No takers. The big suits told the staff it would be printing its final issue the next day. The paper that survived the Great Depression of 1929 would not survive the Great Recession of 2009.

It's sad to watch a Denver icon collapse. It's much like a community patriarch dying. A video tribute on the paper's web site is almost too depressing to watch. Even more depressing - my nagging question: Could “the Rocky” be a sort of “Bear Stearns” omen of a news industry collapse?

Last fall when as we watched the first investment giant fail, I assumed it was only an isolated incident. It's reasonable that one financial company might collapse in a retracting economy.

But Bear Sterns turned into a primary domino. Soon other unsinkable titanic names like JPMorgan, AIG, and Merrill Lynch started cascading, too. By Christmas is appeared as though the entire Wall Street banking system had effectively crashed. A cash problem still continues now.

As I watch the tribute to the Rocky Mountain News, I can't help but see an eerie similarity. I want to be optimistic and believe “the Rocky” is the exception (and everyone else will “pull through”). But I am very worried about some signs I am seeing.

News also has its titanic names: The Tribune Company, which owns a dozen papers, is filing for bankruptcy. The New York Times just took out a huge loan against its new building. Even locally, our pioneer paper, the Deseret News, has let some reporters go. While all of them seem unsinkable now, will they all still be printing in, say, six months? A year? It seems impossible that the New York Times could ever go out of business. But if someone had told me a year ago JPMorgan would one day teeter on the edge of evaporation, I would've thought they were crazy.

As a broadcast journalism student, you'd think I'd be happy to see the “competition die.” After all, the television or radio station I hope to work for someday fights for the same ad dollars.

But I am terrified of a world without newspapers. If the news world fails like the financial system, we'll have something much worse than a credit crunch – we'll have an “information crunch.” I don't need to explain how that could be very bad for the free world.

And don't expect T.V., radio, and or favorite cable news channel to pick up what newspapers leave behind.

Having done a small amount of TV and radio reporting, I am beginning to realize how much we rely on newspapers. Only they have the resources to extract the juice from a boring public meeting or make sense of a long, rambling government document. They are the ones who fill the Associated Press wires with stories.

No television station could afford to let two of their reporters spend weeks looking into a suspicious burglary. But the Washington Post could. And it eventually toppled President Richard Nixon.

Newspapers are a fixture of broadcast story meetings from KSL 5 to CNN in Atlanta. They always have been. I hope they always will be.

Thankfully, Colorado still has the Denver Post for the time being. But what happens when a one-newspaper town loses its only paper? I'm not exactly sure, some city will probably find out this year.

Holy Smokes Gus!

2009-03-05T17:31:00.000-08:00

Not more than 8 hours after I posted my lament (see below), this happens:

Investors Bail Out On Citadel

Citadel Communications got a bailout of sorts Thursday (March 5), but not the type that comes from the feds and means stacks of cash rushing in. This was investors cashing out their shares of CDL, which opened its last day of trading on the New York Stock Exchange at a dime a share and ended at the closing bell at a penny.

Folks at Citadel's Manhattan headquarters could not explain the change of heart investors had in the company's value, but the 90% drop in value was marked by a dramatic increase of trading volume -- some 18.5 million shares were sold compared to a 30-day average volume of 739,000 shares traded.

Read the Article

Can't explain it!?! You're about to be de-listed from Nasdaq!

Goodbye, Old Employer!

2009-03-05T09:08:00.001-08:00

A bit old now, but one of my many, old employers is about to disappear from the Nasdaq exchange:

"Citadel, which gained a penny to close at 14 cents a share on Thursday, fell below a $1 a share months ago, below the exchange's continued listing standard.

"Citadel shares hit a 52-week low of 11 cents a share on Feb. 17 and a 52-week high of $2 on March 11, 2008. The issue has lost more than 36 percent of its value in the past month and 99.26 percent over the last five years."

Mediaweek: Citadel to be Delisted From NYSE

Idiot M.B.A.'s in Las Vegas! They thought they could run radio like a "business." I hate to break it to them (although Wall Street is doing that less kindly), but if radio could've been run as a business, somebody would've tried that 30 years ago - when it actually made money.

I have no bad feelings for the local people I worked for. They were great, and I think they went out of their way to insulate us from the corporate monstrosity that is beginning to collapse onto local clusters.

I left the company because I felt there was no upward mobility, except into media sales (and I'd rather jump off a bridge than go into sales). My local boss kept trying to get us on-air. Corporate kept saying "no."

Is it no wonder radio sounds bland, predictable, and ... oh yeah, gets de-listed from Nasdaq?

Maybe the post-bankruptcy radio dial of 2012 will start to sound creative again.

March Surprise

2009-03-05T09:05:00.000-08:00

And not a pleasant one.

And to think ... we hit 65 degrees with sunshine yesterday! I had to go out and scrape the windows on my car this morning.

Well, I'm in denial. No winter coat for me. I don't care if I get a cold. Spring is here, no matter what Mother Nature says.

Good Morning Stairs!

2009-03-04T10:57:00.001-08:00

And to think: If I am climbing these, it means I found a good parking space!

Web Poll

2009-03-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

By my own free will, I am posting HTML code for a web poll.

View Qualtrics PollQualtrics Survey SoftwareEnterprise Feedback Management

There. Can I please have my cat back now, Danny?

Does Comedy Crash Credibility?

2009-03-01T22:05:00.000-08:00

I think yes. Cable News networks have a lot of time to fill. Twenty-four hours worth, in fact. But finding good content to fill it with is very expensive. Comedy is always cheaper than news, and both networks have sold out.

It started with Fox News. In 2007 they launched "The Half Hour News Hour." The short-lived program featured, among it's not-so-surprising line-up: Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.

Now CNN is doing much of the same. While this bit is hilarious, it's downright eerie to watch the same super-graphic light up "Freddie Mack" in the exact same manner it would light up a description of a breaking story.

Honestly, blurring the lines between comedy and news is entertaining (no pun intended) in the short run. But in the end it will cost CNN and Fox their credibility. MSNBC already lost theirs.

Stupid Drivers: Utah Flavor

2009-02-28T22:32:00.000-08:00

There's poor driving everywhere. Each place has it's own flavor, and Utah's tastes particularly nasty.

Here's YouTube user "online7412" documenting one solution to bumper-to-bumper traffic on I-15: Just Make a U-Turn!

It appears truck drives get a glimpse into our collective motoring skills:

An un-edited evaluation of Utah County from another semi driver's perspective:

Sometimes Utards get caught (PG-13):

At least we aren't as bad as in other countries:

Radio News in 2012

2009-02-25T23:46:00.001-08:00

Doom and gloom on my radio dial from a dark and no-so-distant future:

Campus Police Rejoin the 'Nice' List

2009-02-24T17:06:00.001-08:00

Last fall I kicked the officers in blue onto the naughty list for their "penalty of death"-style signage around the police station.

Well, today they are redeeming themselves.

They even say "thank you." How sweet.

Well, since they added such a polite sign, and took down the stupid sidewalk one, I guess I'll be nice. I vow never to park my bicycle (or car) on their bike rack.

The Crisis of Credit

2009-02-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

Not sure who made it. But this is the BEST visualization of the crisis we are in right now, and how we got here.

Every American should watch this!

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

Amazing Childhood Flashback

2009-02-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the users of YouTube, 1980's filmmakers, and a healthy disregard for our out-dated copyright law, I had a wonderful trip down memory lane tonight.

I do believe this single scene shaped a good portion of my life:

What's not to love? The chase even makes sense.

They start the high-speed chase on the collector road out of L-A-X.

That's why it looks like a freeway.

Then at Century Blvd and La Cienga there's the traffic light, which Claus and Claudia turn left so they can get onto the 405 freeway.

Meanwhile the old lady is going south on 405.

She misses the Century exit, flips a U-turn (which is inverted, since the on-coming traffic should be on the other side of the screen). Then the two parties meet on the 405 on-ramp off La Cienga Ave.

And check out the retro styling on that police cruiser.

Especially the speedometer.

The attention to detail is incredible, considering it's a 1987 low-budget cartoon for children.

Life is Good

2009-02-12T19:40:00.001-08:00

Office Busted (Part II)

2009-02-06T23:28:00.000-08:00

The producers of The Office are so busted, again!

In this week's episode, Michael and Pam are supposed to be leaving a branch in Utica, New York heading toward Rochester. But the "snow" we see on the ground is the magic of Hollywood.

Because Steve Carrell is not in the Empire State. He's just off the 405 in Ventura County.

What tipped me off was the bus that passes by. I know I'd seen it before. Sure enough, a Google Image search of L.A.'s "Foothill Transit" bus ...

So, I knew it was L.A., but I wasn't sure where. So I kept reading signs. I don't know if the post-production people purposely blurred signs or not, but I finally could make out "Sepulveda Blvd" on one. Then I needed a business...

Tada! A Google search of the business on Sepulveda led me right to the spot.

What's amazing are the two palm trees right in the middle of the shot. The editors must have gone in and Photoshopped them out.

Finally, the traffic lights. Los Angeles traffic lights with a distinctive look to them: A curved top with a large blue signs that hangs from the pole. A contrast from the green ones we usually see.

But again, no match for "The Google." Of course, the artists at NBC are at work erasing the "76" station's logo. After all, that's a west-coast fuel chain.

So, there you have it. Michael and Pam never left the TMZ.

Oh snap! Busted!

2009-02-01T13:53:00.001-08:00

We all know The Office isn't really filmed in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Deep down our subconscious minds want to believe that Michael Scott could run out the doors of the Scranton Business Park and jog over to the Steamtown Mall.

But today, the illusion died for me:

See the "no smoking" sign beside Steve Carrell's head? Like many workplace signs, it lists the piece of legislation backing up the rule, in this case: Sec. 6404.5 of the state code.

"The Legislature finds and declares that regulation of smoking in the workplace is a matter of statewide interest and concern. It is the intent of the Legislature in enacting this section to prohibit the smoking of tobacco products in all (100 percent of) enclosed places of employment in this state, as covered by this section, thereby eliminating the need of local governments to enact workplace smoking restrictions within their respective jurisdictions."

But which state? Did the producers look up Pennsylvania's code?

Nope. That's Section 6404.5 of the California state code.

Hermione Granger Would Be Thrilled

2009-01-27T21:25:00.000-08:00

It appears her cause lives on!

And what an endorsement: A driver of this old A-car in Provo.

In 1960: Crash Test Dummies Were People

2009-01-22T18:00:00.000-08:00

Maybe that's why it's the lamest car crash ever.

See the original on YouTube

Best ... Ad ... Ever!

2009-01-20T23:03:00.000-08:00

Have I posted this before? Best ... ad ... ever!

Safe for the Whole Family™

2009-01-16T23:34:00.000-08:00

Finally, hard-core hip-hop radio that's safe for kids in the car!

Writers So Hungry, They Could Eat At Arby's

2009-01-13T18:58:00.000-08:00

NEW: More Arby's madness ... HERE

Radio Story: Hybrid Police Car

2009-01-09T22:33:00.000-08:00

Here's a news story I did for work. I guess the days of police departments only buying American cars is now over.

I talked with Salt Lake City's Police Department and it sounds like they are going to buy a whole bunch of Toyota Camry Hybrids.

Music Videos Have No Creativity

2009-01-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

They really don't. That's why I almost never watch a music video.

I'm not sure why, but lately I've been into Ghost Riding. I haven't actually done it, but enough homemade YouTube renditions of it had me hunting for the original music video to see if people were doing it correctly.

The movie was pretty lame, and soon I was discovering that the video is so generic that you can sync any song to it.

Try it:

It's back to the radio for me. A place where I can decide what the song really means without some lame Hollywood producer insulting my intelligence.

Snow is of the Devil

2009-01-08T22:36:00.001-08:00

Snow is of the Devil. Just like sin, it's enticing white flakes seem harmless and even enticing. But as the days of life continue onward the outward white begins to show it's real integrity - that of charcoal.

Well, enough with the drama. I just don't like snow.

Brigham's New "Do"

2009-01-06T09:50:00.001-08:00

He has a sort of Barry White look ...

You've Gotta Be Kidding Me

2009-01-05T22:21:00.001-08:00

I was only parked for a couple of hours. Oh, how I want to move south someday! Cue the Randy Newman song in the player again, please! --->

The Softest Place to Relax

2009-01-04T22:26:00.000-08:00

Here's another brilliant radio format now available for syndication in your market!